| | THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION |  |
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+4my little friend Rumble {KAN} skinman {kan} Lady of Winter {KAN} 8 posters |
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skinman {kan}
Member
 Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Guest
Guest
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Guest
Guest
|  Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 27 Oct 2009, 2:02 pm | |
| An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
’I’ve never been better!’ he boasted. ’I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?’
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, ‘Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day he went out in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.’
The doctor continued, ‘So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle.’
‘And do you know what happened?’ the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied ‘No.’
The doctor continued, ‘The bear dropped dead in front of him!’
’That’s impossible!’ exclaimed the old man. ‘Someone else must have shot that bear.’
’That’s kind of what I’m getting at…’ replied the doctor. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 27 Oct 2009, 2:02 pm | |
| A teacher gave her class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the children came in and one by one they began to tell their stories.
‘Johnny, the teacher asked, ’do you have a story to share?’
’Yes miss, my Daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over hostile territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the pistol until she ran out of bullets, then killed four more with the knife ’till the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands.
‘Good heavens!’ said the horrified teacher,
‘What kind of moral did your Daddy tell you from that horrible story?’
‘Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking!’ |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 27 Oct 2009, 2:31 pm | |
| Great joke marine...  | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Fri 30 Oct 2009, 12:48 pm | |
| Over to the Oval Office…….
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great, Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No, But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Fri 30 Oct 2009, 4:03 pm | |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Sat 31 Oct 2009, 12:42 pm | |
|  Halloween Rules…
- When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
see if it’s really dead.
- Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
- Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone
out.
- If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is
other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot
of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds
to kill them, so be prepared.
- When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it
alone.
- As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
- Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave,
tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
- If you’re searching for something which caused a noise and find out
that it’s just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value
your life.
- If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
- Do not take anything from the dead.
- If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a reason.
Take the hint and stay away.
- Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you
know what you are doing.
- If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note
that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely
shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
- If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as
possible.
- Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in
trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any
small town in Maine.
- If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
deserted-looking house to phone for help.
- Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns,
hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane
torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased
companions.
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Sat 31 Oct 2009, 1:42 pm | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Lady of Winter {KAN}
Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert
 Number of posts : 1730
Age : 56
City/Country : Earth (is not a country it´s a planet)
: Pretty in Pink
: Handy with a Whip
: Frau Boss
Fav MP game : Naked Volleyball and Twister.
Fav MP map : BOG!!!
I miss BOG!!
Fav SP game : LOL
Xfire : ladyofwinter
TeamSpeak : 1st Lady {KAN}
Registration date : 2008-03-15
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Sat 31 Oct 2009, 6:02 pm | |
| Why can't witches get pregnant? Because their husbands have Hallo-weenies!!!  | |
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mraztec3{KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 485
Age : 28
City/Country : Starkville, USA
: Clan Member, he hopes hes better at black ops than he was at l4d2, probably not though -)
Fav MP game : Rocket League, Overwatch, Quake Champions
Fav SP game : Cities, Horizon Zero Dawn
TeamSpeak : mraztec3
Registration date : 2009-03-18
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Sun 01 Nov 2009, 5:32 am | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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mraztec3{KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 485
Age : 28
City/Country : Starkville, USA
: Clan Member, he hopes hes better at black ops than he was at l4d2, probably not though -)
Fav MP game : Rocket League, Overwatch, Quake Champions
Fav SP game : Cities, Horizon Zero Dawn
TeamSpeak : mraztec3
Registration date : 2009-03-18
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Thu 05 Nov 2009, 9:59 pm | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Lady of Winter {KAN}
Queen of the P90 - shooter of the AK47. Claymore expert
Number of posts : 1730
Age : 56
City/Country : Earth (is not a country it´s a planet)
: Pretty in Pink
: Handy with a Whip
: Frau Boss
Fav MP game : Naked Volleyball and Twister.
Fav MP map : BOG!!!
I miss BOG!!
Fav SP game : LOL
Xfire : ladyofwinter
TeamSpeak : 1st Lady {KAN}
Registration date : 2008-03-15
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Fri 06 Nov 2009, 8:02 pm | |
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Mono {KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 3177
Age : 61
City/Country : Stockholm Sweden
: Moderator
: Forum Admin
: Raqe quitters anonymous
Fav MP game : L4D2
Fav MP map : N/A
Fav SP game : N/A
Xfire : U R Xfired!!!
TeamSpeak : I'm too shy
Registration date : 2007-10-05
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Fri 06 Nov 2009, 8:17 pm | |
| I drive a Honda Fit  | |
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mraztec3{KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 485
Age : 28
City/Country : Starkville, USA
: Clan Member, he hopes hes better at black ops than he was at l4d2, probably not though -)
Fav MP game : Rocket League, Overwatch, Quake Champions
Fav SP game : Cities, Horizon Zero Dawn
TeamSpeak : mraztec3
Registration date : 2009-03-18
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Sat 07 Nov 2009, 3:44 pm | |
| ~WARNING SEXIST JOKE~ Q: How are women like slip and slides? A: They're only fun when they're wet.  | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Rumble {KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 3385
Age : 64
City/Country : Virginia, USA
: Moderator
: Forum Admin
Fav MP game : Black Ops
Fav MP map : No preference
TeamSpeak : Yes !
Registration date : 2007-10-05
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 10 Nov 2009, 10:16 am | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Rumble {KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 3385
Age : 64
City/Country : Virginia, USA
: Moderator
: Forum Admin
Fav MP game : Black Ops
Fav MP map : No preference
TeamSpeak : Yes !
Registration date : 2007-10-05
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:22 am | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Tue 24 Nov 2009, 3:08 pm | |
| When I pass on to that great frag infested map in the sky. I would like to go peacefullylike my grandfather did... in his sleep. not screaming...like the passengers werein his car.- - - - - - - - Police in Aberdeen.... have had their toilet seat stolen from the station. .. Presently they have nothing to go on!- - - - - - - - It's always darkest just before dawn...so if you're going to steal the neighbours newspaper.... that's the best time to do it.- - - - - - - - Confucious say... ''There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't''.- - - - - - - - God was just about done creatingthe universe...but he had two things left over inhis bag of creations.So he decided to split them betweenAdam and Eve.He told the couple that one of thethings he had left was the abilityto stand up while urinating."It was a very handy thing"...he told the couple.Adam jumped up and yelled..."Oh..give that to me!.. I'd love tobe able to do that..it seems the sort of thing a man should do.Oh please..Oh please..oh please.let me have that ability.It'd be so great!...when I'mworking in the garden..or namingthe animals..I can just stand thereand let it fly..It'd be so cool.I could write my name in the sand.Oh please God.. let it be me who you give that gift to..let me stand and pee...oh please!".Eve smiled and told God that if Adamreally wanted that so badly..he shouldhave it.it seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy..and she reallywouldn't mind if Adam were the onlyone given this ability.So Adam was given this wonderful gift.He celebrated by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him...laughing withdelight all the while."Now let's see"...God said..looking backinto his bag..."What's left here?...Oh yes...multiple orgasms". | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Sat 28 Nov 2009, 8:54 am | |
| There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men.
"don't" and "stop". - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The new hooker had just finished her first trick.
When she came back down to the street...
the seasoned veterans all gathered around to
hear the details.
She said...
"Well... he was a big... muscular....
handsome sailor".
"Well?...
What did he want to do?"...
they all asked.
She said...
"I told him that a straight lay was £100...
but he said he did not have that much.
So.. I told him a blow job would be £75...
but he did not have that much either.
Finally... I said... "Well how much do you
have?".
The sailor said he only had £25. So...
I told him... "For £25... all I can give you
is a hand job".
He agreed and after getting the finances
straight..
he pulled it out.
I put one hand on it.
Then...
I put the other hand above that one".
She paused...
raised her eyebrows...
and then continued.
"Then I put the first hand above the
second hand".
"Oh my God!"...
they all exclaimed...
"it must have been huge!
Then what did you do?"
"I loaned him £75!".
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Wed 02 Dec 2009, 6:39 am | |
| Three women were sitting around throwing
back a few drinks and talking about their
love lives.
One woman said...
"I call my husband the dentist.
Nobody can drill like he does".
The second woman giggled and confessed
"I call my husband the miner because of his
incredible shaft".
The third woman quietly sipped her whisky
until her friend asked...
"Say.....
what do you call your husband?".
She frowned and said....
"The postman".
"Why the postman?".
"Because he always delivers late....
and half the time it's in the wrong box". | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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mraztec3{KAN}
Member
Number of posts : 485
Age : 28
City/Country : Starkville, USA
: Clan Member, he hopes hes better at black ops than he was at l4d2, probably not though -)
Fav MP game : Rocket League, Overwatch, Quake Champions
Fav SP game : Cities, Horizon Zero Dawn
TeamSpeak : mraztec3
Registration date : 2009-03-18
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION Wed 02 Dec 2009, 12:15 pm | |
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skinman {kan}
Member
Number of posts : 3169
Age : 76
City/Country : over here
: Clan Member
Fav MP game : left 4 dead.
left4dead2.
TeamSpeak : yes.
Registration date : 2008-05-04
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Sponsored content
| | Subject: Re: THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION | |
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| | THE UNOFFICIAL "OFFICIAL" PUBLIC JOKE SECTION | |
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GreaT JokE Skin...
